[personal profile] watchclocker
I have a habit of littering my Gmail drafts folder with half-written blogs. I came across this again. I only wrote it a month ago, and I'm already feeling it again:

I've been away from The First Space for a while now. Even before my last visit, I'd very actively disengaged from what they were doing. The main reason I gave myself was that I spent an awful lot of time doing nothing in a cold warehouse while surfing the internet on a very old and underpowered laptop.

But I realised there was more to it than that. I was starved of queerness.

Here's a random example. Last month, I was feeling that sort of drained feeling that I associate with depression. The sort where you have some energy to do stuff with, but everything seems so pointless. I was stressing to the hilt about work, which didn't help, and I'd barely seen friends, which really didn't help. But I settled down one night into Netflix and watched 2 movies that were due to expire. One of them was called Concussion, about a lesbian housewife who gets bored and turns to sex work. The other was a film with Jim Carrey called "I love you Philip Morris", which turned out to be based on a true story about a conman. With a slow start-cringe-stop dripfeed of the stories into my brain, I found myself feeling a lot better. These were stories in which I could find nucleation points of reality. My lived experiences weren't there, but they were closer to what I'd had. I was able to understand the constraints that were there.

That got me going back to actual live spaces where there was queerness. And that's a hell of a lot better for my head.

So, note to self - more queer spaces.
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.



September 2017

1011121314 1516
17 1819 20212223

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 24th, 2017 05:04 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios